Where are the free kittens?

I’m not sure this dating thing is for me.  Either I’m not ready or the universe isn’t.  I don’t understand perpetually single people or serial daters.  How do you do it?

I have to carefully phrase everything that I say.  Especially if it involves technology.  Email, text, chat.  What happened to hours long conversations in the middle of the night that ended in someone snoring or a 30 minute battle of “NO! YOU HANG UP FIRST!”

I tried to convey to someone that I don’t have an agenda, ulterior motive, or malice intent.  I am someone that loves unconditionally, no matter who you are, if you’re in my life.  I will sacrifice and give all of what I have to make sure friends, family, lovers or acquaintances are happy.  If I have it in my power to make it happen, I do what I can.

Why does the ability to love have to be a bad thing?  Why does that have to make people uncomfortable and make me look like a lunatic?  Why can’t we all just have a loving spiritual connection with the people in our lives without it being awkward or having to explain it?  “Why can’t we all just get along?”

I would fully understand if I had only known someone a short amount of time and I professed my undying love for them and then camped out on their lawn with a wedding officiant!

I guess the real issue is “Why am I talking to another broken man?”  See?  This is what happens when you meet someone in “the public” and try to get to know them over text.  My social anxiety and overthinking won’t allow him to come to my house.  I can’t go to his house because of his recent breakup and everyone moving.  So we’re left to text like we’re hiding something.  THERE IS NOTHING TO HIDE!   All I want is that Cheesecake Date and see what happens!  LOL Chubby girl wants her dessert!

Now I get to decide if this is worth the hassle.  Do I cut this off now before it gets too much further and save us both the hassle of this daily struggle to communicate?  We just don’t communicate in the same manner.  Or go with the flow and stop overthinking it?  Or panic and go buy all the kittens and just be that lady in the neighborhood.


The struggle is real, folks.

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